When we become aware of what we’re thinking and believing, we then have the power to use those thoughts as a steppingstone to shift our initial interpretation.

When we choose not to believe every thought that comes into our head, we can build an awareness of our thinking patterns  which allows us to change the habits that no longer serve us.

For instance, if we feel that a change in circumstances will be bad for us, we can reevaluate before deciding what we believe is true.  We can check if our brain is providing us with our habitual response, and if we wish, we can change the story we’re telling ourselves.  When we do this, we have the opportunity to reframe our interpretation in a positive light.

Here is a personal example.

For our family’s health insurance, we used the policies offered by my husband’s employment.  As many companies do each year, the CFO analyzed whether that particular policy was in the company’s best financial interest.  Often, that analysis resulted in the employees being offered a new set of options to decide upon from a different company.  For a couple of years, we might have been dealing with United Health Care, and then suddenly, we were being switched to Aetna, for instance.

The problem is that I went into a state of fear and worry each time this happened.  Would we be able to use our same doctors?  Would the deductible change?  Would the medications we needed be covered on the new policy, etc.?  I got stressed out, and I did most of this worrying before we were even able to see the new policy.

It was the idea of change rather than the reality of the policy that caused the majority of my distress.

Eventually, I got used to this rhythm of change, and on balance, the situation was never really terrible, and I saw that my anxiety was unnecessary.  I learned that I could transfer this lesson to other situations in my life and reduce much of my needless worry.

When we are faced with a change, it is common to let our fear take over. Uncertainty is a hard feeling to sit with. But there are a few things we can do to counteract this instinct and the stress we experience because of it.

STOP

When faced with news of a change, immediately turn off your brain and check in with your emotions. What are you feeling? Are you anxious? Are you nervous?

Remind yourself that these are normal emotions when faced with news of a change.

What can you control?

Once the immediate emotions have been calmed, ask yourself what about this change is out of your control and what is it that you can can control. While we may have no say in a decision or circumstance that has arisen or its timing, we can control our reactions and emotions during the experience. Doing this will determine how much stress you allow to come into your life because of the change.

With the stress level decreased, you are in a much better mindset to evaluate the change.

Frame things in a positive light

Now, you can look at the situation with logic and ask yourself what about the situation could actually benefit you.

If your routine will change, could you use the new timing to make room for something that doesn’t work in your schedule now? What about the proposed change that may actually relieve a pain point you are currently experiencing?

Find the real issue

With your reactive emotions at bay and a little perspective, look for any real issues that you may actually encounter. For instance:  Will you need to change the person who drops off or picks up your young children? Will you need to incur an unexpected expense as a result? Or, if a change in your company requires a shift, how could you manage the situation?

Without reacting, come up with a couple of easy or reasonable fixes to these challenges? Will you need to the help of the person or department implementing the change to adopt it?

Remember, most people are good and kind and willing to find a way to help. With your calm demeanor, positive attitude and proposed solutions, you are setting yourself up for a positive and helpful response.

Another simple example comes from a workshop I gave several years ago.  One participant talked about knowing that physical exercise was important for her overall health but didn’t have enough time for it.  The assignment was for each person to turn their story around to state the problem as a positive accomplishment.  For her turnaround, she wrote, “I have found time to exercise each day.”

The next morning, she told us that she had set her alarm for 20 minutes earlier than usual, got up and went for a run. She realized that she could do that every day, and that in fact, she did have enough time for exercise.

We have all found ourselves in a place where we feel threatened by a change that feels impossible. Using these steps will help you to face these situations with more mindfulness.

Over time, you can develop this skill by reflecting on other experiences where negative emotions and stress took over. Take a moment to think of a change that caused (or causes) stress in your life. Write it down and then let yourself rewrite that story in a positive light, even if you have to imagine it.

Change is an inevitable part of life. The way we experience it is up to us.